DR. GLENN MOLLETTE
There aren’t that many seasons of freedom in life. If you are in one, enjoy the season. When you are a child, you do as your parents say and go where they allow you to go. You are also tied to many, many years of school. You are free—free to go to school, study most of the time and do as your parents say.
This season passes more quickly than a person can imagine at the time. I remember being a freshman in high school and thinking that four years would take forever. I felt the same way about college, but the years rolled by quickly.
When we graduate from high school or college we breathe a sigh of relief momentarily and think, “Thank God we are free.” Yes, we are free. Free to go to work, to marry, to have children. But wait. How much freedom is there when we are working, providing for a family, and taking care of babies? We are free, but with many responsibilities.
A man once asked a Rabbi, a priest and a Baptist minister this question, “When does life begin?” The Rabbi said he believed life began at conception, the priest said he believed life began at birth. The Baptist minister said, “Life begins when the last child leaves home and the dog dies.”
Maybe you felt more freedom after your children were raised and were on their own. Unfortunately, some people never ever see their children totally raised, as many stay dependent on the parent until the parent dies.
Let us say that your adult children are doing well and taking care of their kids. This is hopeful, as too many grandparents end up raising their grandchildren. Your retirement years are now staring you in the face. You may be 45 to 55 years old.
The word retirement is a bit scary because you are thinking, “How is this financially possible?” It is taking a fortune to retire. Thus, between the ages of 45 and 65, you are working hard to try to invest in a 401k, pay into Social Security and any other savings plan that you can. Try to start doing this in your very early 20s and it will alleviate a lot of pressure in your late 50s.
Back again to your freedom. How much freedom do you have in this stage of life? You may take a vacation or two. Play some golf on the weekend, fish or pursue other hobbies, but your life is very regimented.
The day comes when you decide to retire. You retire. Now what? A friend of mine said the great thing about retirement was that he could do whatever he wanted. The problem was that he couldn’t afford to do much. Another friend once said, when he retired, “I have all the money I need for the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
Retirement is not necessarily the golden window of freedom. Maybe for a while, but things happen. Your spouse may become sick and even debilitated. This changes the scenario. You may become a caregiver to your mother or father. They have no one else but you, so what are you going to do? Just dump them?
An elderly parent may become like a child to you. You may be responsible for their total care. This could be the same for a spouse or even a child or other family members. In most cases this almost completely closes the window of doing much for yourself. Vacations and recreational outings of almost any kind become nearly impossible. Of course, any of us can become sick and debilitated at any moment.
The point of all this is not to make anyone feel bad. The point is, do not take anything for granted. Enjoy everything—your day trips, outings and vacations, your day going to Walmart, going to church.
There is a time to weep and a time to dance. A time to mourn and a time to laugh. Enjoy it all because seasons change.
Dr. Glenn Mollette is read in all 50 states. He is also the author of numerous books and can be heard each weekday morning on XM Radio 131.