Praying for God’s will is the best thing. The wisest thing. The hardest thing. One of the most difficult lessons of my life. It happened July 20, 1994-30 years ago this week. It was a Wednesday.

Sandra had been told early on she would never be able to have children. So, when she became terribly sick on a daily basis, she was sure she had cancer.

The doctor gave her shocking news: she was not terminally ill but pregnant. Surprised and thrilled, Sandra, along with her husband, Steve, shared the news far and wide. Her pregnancy was miraculous yet uneventful. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Bradley.

Their tears of joy quickly turned to tears of desperation. Their baby boy had a heart condition. Surgery was their only option.

Three weeks later, when the surgery day arrived, we were on a mission trip to Lorain, Ohio. This salt-of-the-earth mother and father were dear to us. Our team prayed often. We circled up, holding hands, and called out to our Father in heaven. “You can do it, Lord. I know You can do it. And we will sing Your praises to the ends of the earth,” I prayed fervently, morning and night. “We believe it, Lord. We know You can.” I had never prayed for something so hard. This was going to be the biggest miracle since the Red Sea. I could feel it. I knew it.

The surgery went well and we were thrilled, but there were complications. In the night, Sandra and Steve’s precious baby boy went to be with Jesus. We. Were. Devastated. (I can’t help crying as I remember.)

Still on mission, we had Vacation Bible School scheduled that morning. We loaded the church van, pushing through the heartbreak. At the church, I went into the basement before everything started. A few of the older members were preparing snacks for the kids.

“Did you hear about the baby?” I asked one senior lady. My eyes filled with tears. “We are devastated,” I sobbed.

Without batting an eye, she responded sternly, “You must not have prayed for the Lord’s will.” I was taken aback. How could she speak such words?

I was furious and have never wanted to punch an old lady in the mouth so badly. I stormed out of the church to fume in the church van.

“Not prayed for Your will?!” I wailed to God.

After a half-hour of crying, I realized the woman was correct, but I still wanted to hit something. Not once during the crisis had I asked for God’s will. I had only prayed for my will, never asking for what He thought best. His answer had stopped me cold.

That experience was one of the most eye-opening spiritual lessons I have ever learned. Since that day in 1994, I have prayed for the Lord’s will-no matter what. It has not always been easy. Regarding health, family, ministry, missions, writing opportunities, plus everything else…instead of tight-fisting and holding on to what I think is best, I open my hands to His plan for me.

When Jesus prayed in the Garden (Luke 22:42), He relinquished control to His Father. He knew it would be difficult, yet He surrendered. God worked it for good. Praying for God’s will allows Him to do what is best even when we cannot envision the outcome. He can always be trusted. I do not have all the answers but I know the One Who does.

Each year, we honor Bradley Hatfield with Gideon Memorial Bibles. I tell his mom I’m never forgetting Bradley because he changed my life.