BY DR. GLENN MOLLETTE
Father’s Day is coming one more time, and you still have a chance at having a great family.
Fathers, like most all people, have good days and bad days. They have great seasons of life and some that are more difficult. Few fathers will look back over their lives and say, “Every day, I was a perfect dad.” Some days were better than others.
We all feel bad about the seasons of our lives when we had to work too much. Working all the time depletes energy we would prefer to spend on our families. The problem is that, like most fathers, we want to keep a roof over our heads and food in the refrigerator. Making car payments, house payments, and all the basic things of life typically keep most dads and moms very busy.
Even in a home filled with love and patience, the average dad lives a juggling life. He is pulled between work, kid’s ballgames, meeting his wife’s needs and housework. Add to this school meetings, homework, fishing, piano lessons and family events, all while trying to maintain and add to his career.
Looking back, most of us can think of some endeavors or activities we wish we had let go in order to spend more time with our families. For some weird reason, they seemed all so important at the time, but now they feel like wasted time.
Throughout life, the way we typically learn is the hard way. Education is always expensive. Our vision is 20/20 looking back.
People tell us what we will regret and should do, but we rarely believe them. When we get past the “55” mark of life, we start to realize what the “old-timers” told us was true. You know how it is because you probably tell your kids about what is right and wrong and what they will appreciate or regret. In most cases, they don’t pay much attention to you.
The only season of being a father that you have is this one. No future is guaranteed and yesterday is gone. You do have today. Have a loving and forgiving heart. Extend grace and a second, third or fourth chance. Try to spend time with those you love. You are probably finding out now that your grown children are too busy for you. They have their own lives, and you may not be a priority. It hurts some, but they probably are being like you used to be. Don’t lose sleep over this, but be available and reach out as you are able.
Finally, you have to be more than the human ATM. You can’t buy your children’s affection for the rest of your life. Every parent wants to help their children, but the best thing you can do for them is work with them to help them care for themselves. You can either teach them to fish or spend the rest of your life fishing for them, and this ends up being a hard life for you and cripples them.
Today is another opportunity to be a good father. This is also a good day for you to reciprocate love and affection to your dad. A father and a child working together can make a great family.
Dr. Glenn Mollette is a graduate of numerous schools, including Georgetown College, Southern and Lexington Seminaries in Kentucky. He is the author of 13 books, including “Uncommon Sense,” “Grandpa’s Store,” “Minister’s Guidebook Insights from a Fellow Minister.” His column is published weekly in over 600 publications in all 50 states. Listen every weekday at 8:56 a.m. on XM radio 131, visit him online at glennmollette.com. “Grandpa’s Store” is a fun and adventure-filled story from the perspective of a child and young teen in the late 50s and early 70s, an era of simpler American small community life. Available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.